Affirmations Are Not Working? Here’s Why

---

If you’ve ever stood in front of a mirror saying, “I’m confident, I’m worthy, I’m thriving” only to feel like you’re starring in a bad rom-com, then let me guess—you’re frustrated. Affirmations sound empowering in theory, but if they’re not clicking for you, chances are, you’re making some common mistakes.

Don’t worry; we’ve all been there. You’re not broken or hopeless—you’re just missing a few key pieces. In this article, we’re tackling the top mistakes people make with affirmations, how to fix them, and why they’re actually one of the most powerful tools in your self-love toolbox.

And yes, I’m spilling some tea from my personal story because, girl, I’ve been in your shoes. Let’s get into it.

"You're not broken or hopeless - you're just missing a few key pieces.

Let’s be real: standing in front of your mirror, muttering “I’m thriving, I’m radiant, I’m living my best life” when you’re wearing last night’s mascara and the same hoodie you’ve cried in for three days feels about as believable as a bad rom-com ending. Your brain isn’t fooled. Instead of feeling empowered, you end up thinking, “Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?”

Here’s the tea: affirmations only work if your mind is on board. If what you’re saying feels completely out of reach, your brain will reject it faster than you can scroll past your ex’s Instagram. 

The Fix: Start with “Bridging Affirmations.”

Think of these as stepping stones. Bridging affirmations are smaller, more believable statements that gently nudge your brain in the right direction without triggering that inner eye-roll. 

Here’s how to switch it up:

• Instead of “I’m over my ex”, try “I’m open to healing.” You don’t have to be all the way healed yet—just open to the idea of moving forward.
• Instead of “I love myself”, say “I’m learning to love myself.” Because learning is a process, and processes? Totally doable.
• Instead of “I’m confident”, start with “I’m building my confidence every day.” Small wins add up, babe.

Imagine it like this: you wouldn’t try to lift 100 pounds at the gym on day one, right? You’d start with a weight that feels manageable and work your way up. Affirmations are the same. You’re training your mind to believe new thoughts, and that takes practice.

Bonus Tip: If saying the words out loud still feels cringey at first, try journaling them instead. Writing down “I’m open to healing” ten times in your notebook can feel a lot less intimidating than declaring it to your reflection. Baby steps count, and each time you repeat it—on paper or out loud—it gets easier.

Saying “I’m worthy” once during that Sunday yoga class isn’t going to undo years of toxic thoughts, babe. Let’s put it this way: affirmations are like brushing your teeth—if you only do it once in a while, things are going to get messy. Your mind needs daily care and repetition to rewire all that self-doubt and negativity that’s been hanging out rent-free for way too long.

Think of affirmations as mental reps at the gym. You don’t walk in, do one squat, and expect to leave with a peach worthy of TikTok, right? The same goes for your affirmations. Consistency is the name of the game. And no, it doesn’t have to be complicated. The key is finding a way to make affirmations part of your everyday life—without it feeling like a chore.

Here’s how you can effortlessly build affirmations into your routine:

• Mirror Work: This one’s simple but powerful. Stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and repeat your affirmations out loud. (It’ll feel weird at first—yes, you’ll laugh—but it works.) Want to level up? Play some Beyoncé in the background. There’s no way you’re not feeling yourself while chanting “I am unstoppable” to “Break My Soul.”
• Journaling: Grab a notebook and write your affirmations down every morning or before bed. Physically writing them makes them stick better—like a little love letter to your future self.
• On-the-Go Affirmations: Save your affirmations as your phone wallpaper, or set them as reminders to pop up throughout the day. Imagine scrolling through your phone and instead of texting your ex, you’re greeted with “I deserve better.” Boom. Affirmation magic.

You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to show up for yourself consistently. Whether it’s 5 minutes in the morning or quick reminders throughout the day, those little efforts add up. Affirmations are the seeds you plant today to grow into the confident, thriving version of yourself tomorrow. Keep watering, and trust the process.

Okay, listen up: affirmations aren’t magic spells. You can’t sit around whispering “I deserve better” while still texting that toxic ex who ghosted you on your birthday. Your words might be powerful, but if your actions are working against them, you’re only keeping yourself stuck. It’s like trying to swim forward while holding onto an anchor—impossible, right?

Think of affirmations as the spark, not the whole fire. They light up your mindset, but you’ve got to add the wood (aka actions) to keep the flames going. If you’re repeating “I am strong” but still answering their “Hey, you up?” texts, we need to have a little heart-to-heart. Words and actions need to align, or affirmations will just feel like empty promises to yourself.

Here’s how to pair your affirmations with aligned action:

• Saying “I am strong”? Show it by finally blocking their number. Yes, it feels scary. Yes, it feels final. But trust me: that silence is where you reclaim your power.
• Repeating “I attract healthy relationships”? Start setting boundaries—not just with exes, but with friends, family, or anyone draining your energy. Remember, boundaries aren’t walls—they’re filters for the life you deserve.
• Affirming “I am worthy of love”? Prove it by treating yourself like someone you love. Take yourself on dates, invest in your growth, and stop settling for crumbs when you deserve the whole damn cake.

Affirmations get your mind ready for change, but your actions are what make that change real. They work together like the dream team—words set the intention, and actions deliver the results. So, next time you’re repeating an affirmation, ask yourself: “What’s one action I can take today that aligns with this?”

Because let’s face it, babe—manifesting without action is just daydreaming. When you start moving like you believe those words? That’s when the magic really happens.

Look, affirmations don’t require you to sit under a full moon, surrounded by crystals, chanting until the neighbors call the cops. If you’re overthinking it, you’re doing it wrong. Affirmations are meant to simplify your life, not stress you out or feel like yet another thing on your “self-care checklist.”

You don’t need 27 different affirmations for every single emotion. Pick a handful that resonate with you and stick to them. Consistency beats complexity every single time. And: Make it fun! Dance to them, draw a picture, make a rhyme. The possibilities are endless.

Use tools like my Etsy Affirmation Card Set to take the guesswork out of it. These beautifully curated cards are perfect for women healing from breakups. 

The magic of affirmations lies in simplicity and fun!

“Do affirmations actually work?” Oh honey, YES. 

Here’s something wild: your brain already uses affirmations every single day—you just don’t realize it. “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never find love.” Guess what? Those are affirmations, too. The only problem? They’re negative ones, and they’ve been running your life on autopilot.

When you change your thoughts, you change how you show up in your daily life—and that’s when your reality starts to shift. 

---

Want to go deeper into the science and power behind affirmations? Check out my blog post on How Affirmations Work and Why You Need Them for all the details.

Your mind is the most powerful tool—let’s make sure it’s working for you, not against you. ✨

How to Actually Use Affirmations (the Right Way)

Alright, babe—by now, you know the most common mistakes and how to avoid them. So let’s recap what we’ve learned:

Start Small and Build Confidence
If a big, bold affirmation feels fake—no worries. Start smaller and build your belief one step at a time. Saying “I’m learning to love myself” feels way more real than jumping straight to “I love myself,” and that’s exactly where you need to be. Baby steps still count.

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Affirmations are a daily practice, not a “once and done” kind of deal. Louise Hay, the mother of affirmations, swore by repeating them hundreds of times a day. Don’t stress—you don’t have to hit 400, but the more you repeat those empowering thoughts, the more they stick.

Pair Words with Action
Words are powerful, but action takes them to the next level. Saying “I deserve better” feels real when you’re blocking that toxic ex. Repeating “I’m confident”? Even better when you’re strutting in an outfit that makes you feel like a 10/10. Affirmations + aligned action = pure magic.

Make It Fun
Who says affirmations have to be boring? Turn on some music, write them in your journal, or hype yourself up in the mirror with your fave playlist in the background. Whatever makes it feel fun will keep you consistent—and consistency is where the magic happens.

💡 Pro Tip: Need a little inspiration to kickstart your affirmation practice? My Etsy Affirmation Card Set is full of beautifully designed cards with affirmations made for healing, confidence, and self-love. Just pick one each day and let it guide you toward your next chapter.

Let’s be real: affirmations are one of the simplest, most empowering tools you can use—but only if you avoid the common pitfalls. They’re not just words; they’re the key to reprogramming your brain and taking back control of your narrative.

If you’ve struggled with affirmations before, don’t sweat it. Adjust your approach, stay consistent, and make them yours.

Ready to start? Grab your Etsy Affirmation Set, say your first affirmation out loud, and get ready to transform your life.