10 Gentle Ways to Start Healing After a Breakup

Breakups suck—there’s no other way to put it. The feelings of loss, the 3 a.m. crying sessions, and the endless replays of conversations that probably don’t even matter anymore? Yeah, I’ve been there, Queens. And let me tell you, it’s a hot mess—but you don’t have to stay there forever.

I’ve used these tips myself (hello, Breakup Queen here!), and trust me, they work. Plus, if you’re ready to dive deeper, the Rebel Journal, will help you on your healing journey with 155 science-based questions to transform your life after heartbreak! Check it out here.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves! For now, I’m here to help you with some baby steps. Let’s start gently, shall we?

Listen, Queen. Bottling up your feelings isn’t the move here. I know it’s tempting to slap on some mascara and pretend you’re fine, but unprocessed emotions are like bad leftovers—they’ll sneak up on you when you least expect it. So give yourself permission to feel everything. Scream into a pillow, cry in the shower, or even throw on Adele’s saddest songs and let the tears flow.

When I went through my own breakup, I set aside “grieving time” every night for a week. I’d light a candle, pour some wine, and let myself cry for 20 minutes. It felt silly at first, but it was also freeing—like giving myself permission to grieve without feeling guilty about it.

• Schedule mini-meltdowns. Set a timer for 15-20 minutes a day to feel everything, then move on to something calming, like journaling or a bubble bath.
• Journal your feelings. Write down everything—anger, sadness, confusion. Just get it out of your system.
• Make a “cry playlist.” Pick songs that resonate and have a good cry session in your car, your bedroom, or anywhere you feel safe.

And don’t forget: Feel your emotions, but don’t unpack and live there. You’re a Queen, not a guest at Sadness Motel.

A chaotic breakup deserves an organized environment. Trust me, your space matters. During my heartbreak, I cleaned like I was Marie Kondo’s long-lost cousin. Decluttering my room gave me some control in a time when everything else felt wildly out of my hands.

But I get it—when you’re going through a breakup, the last thing you want to do is clean or rearrange your space. Rolling under the blanket and hiding from the world feels like the only option some days. But trust me on this: your space reflects your mind. A clear space can help create a sense of calm, even when everything else feels like chaos. Start small—make your bed, light a candle, or clear one corner of the room. Add something that feels comforting, like a soft throw or a small plant. (I named mine Beyoncé because, hey, we all need a little fierce energy around us.) You don’t need to make your room fabulous right now; you just need to make it a little easier to breathe. One step at a time, Queen.

• Start small. Pick one corner or surface to declutter—your bedside table, your closet, or your desk. Clearing out one area can create a ripple effect of peace.
• Bring in comfort items. Think fluffy blankets, lavender candles, or a cozy chair where you can curl up and binge your favorite show guilt-free.

Quote to Remember: “When my environment feels calm, my mind starts to feel the same way.”

Girl, let’s be real. Checking their Insta or stalking their WhatsApp status isn’t helping your healing. As hard as it sounds, it’s time to let go—at least temporarily. I’m not saying you need to block them forever (unless that feels right!), but giving yourself space is essential to rediscovering you.

When I went no-contact with my ex, I turned it into a personal challenge. “How many days can I go without peeking at their profile?” It became a game that I wanted to win, and honestly, every day without them got easier.

Your Challenge:
Mute or unfollow your ex on social media for one week. Track your progress on a calendar or in a journal. Celebrate small wins!

Another Tip:
Replace the time you’d spend scrolling their profile with something better: reading a book, calling a friend, or even binge-watching your favorite Netflix series.

Motivational Reminder: “I can’t heal in the same space that hurt me. This is my time to grow!”

Let me say this louder for the people in the back: you don’t have to go through this alone. Breakups can feel isolating, but leaning on your support system is one of the fastest ways to start healing. When I was heartbroken, my friends became my lifeline. They listened to me vent, brought me ice cream, and even sent me memes to make me laugh.

But here’s the thing—you have to ask for help. Your friends and family might not know what you need unless you tell them.

Simple Ideas to Stay Connected:

• Plan a cozy night in. Host a pajama party with snacks, cheesy rom-coms, and face masks. Healing, but make it fun.
• Phone a friend. Even a 10-minute check-in can lift your mood.
• Get moving together. Go for a walk, hit a yoga class, or just dance around the living room like nobody’s watching.

Quote to Keep You Going: “Your people want to help. Let them remind you of the Queen you are!”

Heartbreak messes with your appetite, sleep, and energy, and you might be tempted to live off coffee and ice cream. I’ve been there. But Queen, your body needs real fuel to heal.

When I was in the thick of my breakup, I made it a rule to eat one nourishing meal a day—even if everything else fell apart. Slowly, that one meal turned into two, then three. And before I knew it, I felt stronger and more like myself again.

The Science Hack You Need:
Did you know that eating foods rich in magnesium (like dark chocolate, bananas, and spinach) can help reduce stress? Or that omega-3s (found in salmon and walnuts) can boost your mood? Small tweaks in your diet can make a huge difference.

• Start your morning with a simple smoothie packed with fruit, spinach, and almond milk.
• Keep snacks like nuts or yogurt on hand for when hunger hits.
• Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Add lemon or cucumber slices to your water for a little pizzazz.

Journaling is more than just writing stuff down—it’s like therapy on paper, minus the hefty bill. And trust me, it works. After my most epic breakup meltdown, I grabbed a journal and started scribbling. At first, it was messy (think angry doodles and a lot of expletives), but eventually, it turned into a space where I made sense of my thoughts.

Now, here’s the tea: I created something amazing called The Rebel Journal, which is not your average “dear diary” situation. This baby is science-backed, designed to help you process your emotions in ways that are SO effective, you won’t even have time to think about your ex. Check it out here.

Here’s how you can start journaling like a pro:

1. Set aside 10 minutes a day. Light a candle, grab a pen, and let it all out.
2. Use prompts to guide you. Here are five powerful ones to get you started:
   • What am I feeling right now, and why?
   • What do I need most today?
   • What did this breakup teach me about myself?
   • What does my dream future look like?
   • What am I proud of, even in the midst of heartbreak?

And if you want to supercharge your journaling game, The Rebel Journal will change your life. Seriously, this isn’t just writing—it’s healing on steroids. Plus, my course comes with two other methods that’ll keep you so busy glowing up, your ex won’t even cross your mind.

Okay, so I know “exercise” might sound like the LAST thing you want to do right now, but hear me out: moving your body isn’t just about getting fit—it’s about releasing all that pent-up heartbreak energy.

After one of my worst breakups, I found myself crying in the middle of a yoga class (true story). At first, I was mortified, but by the end, I felt lighter, like I had just shed a layer of sadness. That’s the magic of movement—it helps you process emotions you didn’t even realize you were holding onto.

Why it works: Science says that gentle movement, like yoga or walking, lowers cortisol (a.k.a. the stress hormone) and boosts endorphins (your happy chemicals). Translation? It’s like giving your brain a hug.

Here’s how to start:

1. Go for a walk. Even 10 minutes outside can clear your head and shift your mood.
2. Try yoga. Look up a beginner flow on YouTube—something slow and grounding.
3. Stretch it out. Roll out a mat and do some gentle stretches while listening to your favorite breakup anthem

Queen, you don’t have to run a marathon to feel better. Just a little movement can remind you how strong you truly are.

Let’s get one thing straight: You do NOT have to “look on the bright side” right now. Breakups suck, and it’s okay to sit in that suckiness for a while. Telling yourself to “just be positive” when your world feels upside-down? Yeah, that’s not the vibe.

I used to force myself to be fine after breakups, pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t. Spoiler: it backfired. It wasn’t until I let myself feel all the messy emotions (tears, anger, the whole shebang) that I started to heal for real.

Here’s how to avoid toxic positivity and embrace real self-compassion:

1. Acknowledge your feelings. Write them down, talk to a friend, or just say them out loud: “I’m hurt, and that’s okay.”
2. Set small goals. Don’t force yourself to “be over it” by next week. Instead, aim for tiny wins, like making your bed or drinking enough water.
3. Adopt a mantra. Try: “I’m allowed to feel this way, and I trust that I will feel better in time.” Or, for when you’re feeling spicy: “I can’t fix what’s broken overnight, but I can take care of me today.”

The key? Be gentle with yourself, Queen. Healing is messy, but it’s also beautiful.

Let me drop some ancient wisdom on you: rituals are powerful. For centuries, people have used them to mark endings and beginnings, and guess what? They work for breakups too. Think of a ritual as a way to tell your brain, “Hey, we’re closing this chapter and starting a new one.”

After one breakup, I created a morning ritual where I’d light a candle, write something I was grateful for, and play a song that made me feel powerful. It became my little daily ceremony of moving forward, and honestly, it changed the game.

Here’s how you can create your own breakup ritual:

1. Write a goodbye letter to your ex. Pour out everything you’re feeling, then tear it up or burn it (safely!). It’s like clearing emotional clutter.
2. Plant something new. Buy a cute little plant to symbolize your growth and commitment to yourself. Watching it thrive will remind you of your own journey.
3. Switch up your routine. Whether it’s trying a new coffee shop or taking a different route to work, small changes can help your brain embrace new beginnings.

Science says rituals help us process emotions and create closure. And Queen, you deserve all the closure.

Let’s end this list with a bang. You’re not just healing—you’re leveling up, and that means stepping into something new. Whether it’s a hobby, a project, or a dream you’ve been putting off, now’s the time to say, “F%&$ yes, I’m doing this for ME.”

And here’s the truth: saying “F%&$ yes” to life is where the real magic begins. Just like in Yes Man—when you stop turning down opportunities and start embracing the unknown, life starts showing up for you in the best ways. New people, fresh experiences, and unexpected joy are waiting. It’s scary, sure.

But trust me, stepping out from under that rock is where the glow-up happens. I tried this myself, and wow—doors I didn’t even know existed flew wide open. So go ahead, say “yes” to the invite, “yes” to that solo trip, and “yes” to living boldly. Your next chapter is waiting.

Healing after a breakup isn’t a straight path—it’s more like a dance where you take two steps forward, one step back, and occasionally trip over your own feet. And that’s okay. The fact that you’re here, reading this, means you’re already showing up for yourself.

Here’s the deal: I’ve been where you are, and I know how heavy it feels. But I also know that with the right tools and a whole lot of self-love, you can rise from this stronger than ever.

Now go ahead, Queen. Take that first step. You’re worth it. 👑